My beloved husband, whose (for want of a better descriptor) woo-woo tolerance is considerably lower than mine, has hung in with me valiantly. Of course, he is living with six and a half chakra panels in the room where we do yoga, so he can’t get away from it entirely.
My 87-year-old father, who is currently reading and meditating with the Tao Te Ching because he is seeking new and more expansive language and imagery for this stage of his spiritual journey, has been an inspiration.
And I am (still) trying to trust the process.
Somewhere around Heart Chakra (with my work space scattered with green fabric and profoundly aware that my heart was laden with scars), I began to hit a wall. For reasons that I am still seeking to understand, I was/am feeling very much alone. Worse, I was/am aware that each of my chakra nodes felt blocked in some way. Over the week of working on a particular panel, some of the debris and clutter would shift and the energy would flow more freely, but at no point did I have the experience of being able to say, “Ha! An open channel! Optimal energy flow accomplished.” I was grateful for small changes, tiny improvements…although (to be totally honest), I suspected that as soon as I moved on, the debris would accumulate behind me again.
And here I am at Crown Chakra, feeling distinctly intimidated. This is the energy node that resides just under the top of the skull, the one that opens to wisdom and enlightenment. It is the place of oneness where the immanent divine and the transcendent divine meet. Cosmic consciousness and the soul about to be birthed enter here; the soul moving onward departs here. This is where consciousness, subconsciousness, and unconsciousness are all equally accessible. This is the node of unlimited joy.
As one who has not yet attained full enlightenment, I am writing here about something I have not experienced as more than a fleeting glimpse from time to time, a moment of peace so brief it cannot be measured in chronos.
And the irony I feel as I sit here typing is that the seed sound for this chakra is silence. So I am going to try to enter the silence, push back from the computer keyboard, let go of any hope of wrapping these seven weeks up neatly, accept the journey as a cycle as continuous as breathing. Thank you for your companionship during these days of trying new language and new images that felt both alien and true.
I keep thinking transformation
will look like Mary
saying ‘Yes’ to the angel,
or Buddha in perfect lotus
under the Bo Tree
serene in spite of the mosquitoes.
I keep expecting transformation
to rustle at my back,
wings powerful enough to
ride anything Spirit sends.
I can’t stop looking
for solar flares and novas.
Instead, somewhere between
inhale and exhale
(that one, just a breath ago),
something slipped one atom to the right
and I love you just a little more.
Text © 2016, Andrea La Sonde Anastos
Photos © 2016, 2015 Immram Chara, LLC
And not to mix metaphors too much, if you are one of the people who has been asking for my prayers, I have a lovely little hand-sewn booklet card available through my Etsy shop which contains eight of my nine-fold blessings for the Celtic Year. There is even a Two-For special!